We meet again, and yet nothing is the same
by moonbird
Summary: An "what if" one shoot.   In the books, I don't think dear Snape ever got to as much as see Lily after he defected, but what would happen if they did meet? What would they fell and say? This is my guess at what would happen.
1. Chapter 1

_This fic is of cause AU, an more like a "What if." Fic, I don't think dear Snape ever got to even see Lily after he defected in his youth, but what would happen if they did meet? what would their feelings be? What would they say to each other? Well, this is an guessing attempt to find out, and no! No no no, they most certainly would not go all romantic about it, I honestly don't believe that's the case! Please review, and please check out my other fics. _

_As usual, if you find errors in the text, it would be because I am not an native English speaker.  
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Twenty-one year old Severus Snape appeared with a loud crack in what looked like a warm living room, frantically he started turning around searching the room with his eyes, in a odd jerk he went for the door, almost sprinting towards it, his body shaking, he laid his hand on the handle, and stood there indecisive for a while.

"Shit." Severus murmured as he turned away and frantically started pacing. He had to physically restrain himself from shouting as he in pure frustration threw his arms over his head, he was not supposed to make any noise! He could not make any noise in here because if there was other people in the building, they could not see him.

There were sounding running steps on the other side of the door, immediately Severus sprinted towards it to press his ears against the wooden door.

"Damn what a fine catch." A rough voice sounded.

"How many do we have?" a young mans voice asked. "I think some of them got away." Severus had to refrain himself from grunting, it was Sirius Black, that _idiot_ to an arrogant prat. And that he was there on the other side, knowing everything that had happened, well that was just unfair!

"We got six of them, but your right." It was Alastor Moody's voice that responded. "There was differently more."

Yeah yeah, Severus thought. What about Lily! Is she okay, come on, out with it!

"Damn!" Blacks voice responded. "Oh well, we'll get them next time."

And they were gone.. dammit in hell! Why couldn't the fleeting voices have dished up with the important stuff! Grumbling Severus went back to the room, and had to keep himself extra much under control now that he knew there were order members in here, Jesus he had been at the very same field only five minutes ago, he _was_ one of the escaping death eaters! If they found him here he was done for! No matter what Dumbledore tried to say in his defence, and this whole situation was just all in all unbelievable frustrating.

A new pair of foot steps sounded in the hall way, and again Severus sprung for the door to press his ears against it. Biting together in grumbling annoyance, you should have thought he would have learned about not listening to doors like this by now, but no! He couldn't even stop himself.

"You'll go along." An old very familiar voice sounded. "I will just be a moment." And the rest of the food steps continued while Severus sprung away from the door and tried to sit down, trying to at least appear calm so Dumbledore wouldn't catch him in this state. Severus could fell the anxiety fill him as he restrained himself with all of his might, slowly the door handle started turning, way to slowly, and at last the door opened to reveal Dumbledore.

Despite himself Severus sprung up again. "How?" He asked at once even before Dumbledore had any chance to step into the room. "Is she safe?"

"Of cause _they_ are." Dumbledore nodded though with a little frown on his face.

And at once it felt like Severus had been inflated, all the tense energy leaving him as he sank down in the chair. "Thank Merlin." He sighed.

"What are your loses?" Dumbledore asked.

"The dark lord doesn't know that it was a failure yet, he will surely summon us all to throw some cruciatos's when he finds out." Severus sighed. "Seven people did not return to our roundabout point, and three were severally injured."

"And your not one of them?" Dumbledore asked.

Severus shook his head. "I kept out of the fire, I didn't really want to fight the order."

"You know you must." Dumbledore made aware. "You must keep up pretend and fight, otherwise they will get suspicious."

"Well that's the good thing about wearing stupid masks isn't it?" Severus asked. "They don't even know that it was me who was holding back, they just thought it was a random coward."

"That's a poor excuse and you know it."

Severus growled annoyed.

"Your to young to be suicidal." Dumbledore looked a little annoyed at him. "Do you want to them to figure out that you have defected?"

"Maybe." Severus shoot back. "I don't want to have any part in it any-more!"

"Well you did take the mark, out of your own free will." Dumbledore looked sternly at him crossing his arms. "There is no turning back, so Severus, don't be a fool and deal with what you got."

Severus hissed annoyed.

"Is there anything of importance I should bring to the order meeting?" Dumbledore then asked.

"That because of this, I will most surely be cruciated in about two hours." Severus grumbled.

Dumbledore lifted an eyebrow. "You want appreciation."

"A little would be nice." Severus sneered before spatting. "No! I don't have anything of importance, so hurry up to that meeting, I will probably be more likely to have something _after _Voldemort is done cruciating me, so you can have your information together with the morning section of the daily prophet if that is what you want!"

Sighing Dumbledore shook his head. "Stay here." He told in a surprisingly soft voice. "Rest until he calls you, at least in here no death eater will be able to get suspicious over your behaviour, you must learn to control your self better."

"I am controlling myself!" Severus stated. "When the game is on, I can deal with it! It's this down time that is tearing me apart."

"Well, that would seem to be right now, so try and rest." And Dumbledore walked for the door. "Remember why you are doing this, if you get figured out or die, what will stand between Voldemort and her?"

Severus bit back, and looked down as Dumbledore excited the room.

As he was alone again, Severus sank down in a corner, feeling both anxious and tense, his immediate first concern about Lily's safety was now out of the way, leaving the anticipation for the moment that Voldemort would call upon him. He starred out in front of him, his wand resting lightly in his hand. Oddly monotone he reached for his sleeve to pull it slowly away, he starred hypnotized at the dark mark of a grinning skull and a snake.. He had been so proud if this thing, was it only a few months ago?.. He had been so happy the day he had gotten it, filled with anticipation for all of the greatness he thought it would bring him, So sure it all.. it was honestly ironic.

The snake on his arm almost seemed alive, looking mean at him, the skull grinning triumphantly as it reminded Severus that he was no longer his own man, this mark was Voldemorts name tag, he had given himself to Voldemort, and there was no going back. Slowly he pulled the sleeve back, letting it cover the make so he wouldn't have to see. Eternity went past, and Severus had nothing to do but wait, for either Voldemort to call him for some ranting and hexing or Dumbledore to come back and tell him what was happening, though only the barely necessary, in case Severus ever broke in the dark lords presence, or stopped being defected returning his loyalties to Voldemort.. though, as much as Severus couldn't know if he was ever going to break or be found it, he could break, there was no doubt about that. But he felt very sure he would never ever turn again, he had his eyes opened, and he would never support Voldemort again and be liking it in the least.

"Severus…" The old mans voice sounded, Dumbledore was back in the room.

Severus looked up, to see him standing there.

"He hasn't called you yet?"

Severus shook his head. "I think he is busy with other matters right now.. Though.. It will come, I am sure of it."

"Look, I have been thinking about our conversation." Dumbledore hesitated. "You are strong and incredible smart Severus, but you have nothing to go on for, it wont do for you to have a death wish."

"How is that any of your business?" Severus asked a little annoyed.

"Your working for me, you're my responsibility." Dumbledore stated. "And I also do think your right.. you deserve at least a little appreciation, it's not much I can do but. Perhaps it could give you a little extra strength to endure your charade."

"Spare me." Severus grumbled. "I don't want anything from you."

"Maybe you'll change your mind." Dumbledore shrugged. "Stay here." And he went back to open the door, to talk to someone on the other side. "Now remember, calm yourself, this man is the soul reason for tonight's success. You owe him your life." And Dumbledore stepped aside.

Severus looked fascinated at the door, anxiety coming over him once more.. and then the person stepped through, a smaller elegant frame.. dark red hair and green eyes.

Severus gaped as his eyes widened, he felt stunned into fright, he had not seen her since their graduation.. That was over three years ago, three years that felt so much longer than that, everything had happened in that time, nothing was the same as back then. Dumbledore nodded at the corner Severus was sitting in, and Lily's brilliant eyes looked at him, before they widened in recognition and she stepped back looking wide-eyed at him.

Severus felt his heart thrumbing, and was suddenly way more scared than a moment before, he tried to raise himself, but stumbled as he could not get his eyes away from here, only the wall behind him kept him from falling down, and finally he stood there, pressing against the wall, while he still starred wide-eyed at her, he could even fell the sweat on his neck and his cheeks being completely red.. they were in complete silence.

Until Lily lifted her hand and pointed at Severus. _"You!"_ the word was drenched in venom.

Severus tried to say something but his mouth was completely dry, he just kept opening and closing it, in a complete panic stricken manner.

"Albus, I don't know what he told you, but he is a death eater! Hand him over to Alastor!" Lily sneered.

"Lily!" Severus blurted. "No! I mean ehr." He flustered frantically. "I know this must seem pretty bad to you! But it's not what it looks like!"

"So you're saying you're not a death eater then?" Lily sneered.

"Well no.. I am, but.. Okay it is what it seems like but not.." he kept on flustering, not able to control his words.

"So that's seven death eaters captured tonight." Lily responded her face in dark folds. "Albus I have nothing to say to him, I don't know why you brought me here."

"Perhaps he has something to say to you." Albus suggested.

"Then I don't want to hear it!" Lily stated.

Severus was lost for words, he squirmed under her anger.

"Lily, please." Albus sighed. "Just try."

"I doubt he'll have anything to say I would want to hear." Lily snorted. "But if you really insist Albus." She grumped annoyed. "One thing Snape! Tell me one thing to convince me I should listen the least bit to you." She growled.

Severus's mouth was so very dry, he had never been this frightened, not even as he had first faced voldemort again right after his defection and betrayal, he felt the sweat of angst on his forehead, it was burning hot, he was completely unable to speak.. why old man! Why did you bring her here?

"Well Severus." Dumbledore looked friendly at him. "Don't you have something to say?"

Severus shook his head, and then stopped to nod, to shake it again and looked down.

"Albus your wasting time." Lily rolled her eyes. "Just take him away."

"Severus." Albust tried again. "Now is your chance, it may never come again, what do you want to say?"

Lily sniffed annoyed, just about to turn away.

"I'm sorry!" Severus blurted as he raised his head to look desperately at her. "I'm sorry Lily! For everything I'm sorry! I'm sorry for ever wanting to be a death eater, I'm sorry for not believing you or ever doubting you! I'm sorry for having thought the dark lord was anything! I'm sorry for supporting him or having ever helped him! I'm sorry for thinking that muggleborns isn't worth anything! I'm sorry for everything I did! Lily!" he looked at her. "I am sorry."

Startled Lily looked at him, as he gasped for breath, feeling how he shivered. Lily swallowed. "your sorry.." she said in a oddly monotone voice. "And you think that is going to fix anything?" her voice rose once more. "I admit, I didn't expect that, and it's a step in the right direction, but what of it! What are you going to do about it?"

Ashamed Severus looked down.

"He is doing something." Dumbledore then told. "I told you, it's only because of him tonight were a success."

"You mean.." Lily hesitated. "He was how your figured the death eaters was going to attack me and James?" she asked.

"Yeas." Albus told.

"He told you?" she asked again, squinting her eyes.

"Yeas." Dumbledore repeated. "And other small facts, such as Travers in the department of magical animals is a death eater and so ford, our whole list is only possible because of him."

"Wait wait." Lily uttered. "So what he basically is.. is a spy? And he have convinced you that he betrayed Voldemort?..." she frowned. "You're sure he is not working with Voldemort against you. He is extremely good at tricking people, making them hear what they want to hear, I know from exsperience, trust me."

"Severus a double agent?" Albus asked. "No I don't think so, but if it'll put your mind at ease, why don't you talk to him to figure out yourself?"

Severus bit his lip, swallowing.

Lily looked at him, her eyes apprehensive, yet also a little puzzled. "Well." She asked. "I am listening, more you want to say?"

Severus opened his mouth, and then closed it to look down as he shook his head. "I'm sorry… that is all." He mumbled.

"Merlin, and to think it all finally came biting your in the arse, but first _after_ it's to late." Lily shook her head. "Your such an idiot." She mumbled.

Severus nodded ashamed, his eyes fixed on the floor, he was reduced to a bumbling child again, she was the only one able to do that to him.

"Fine." Lily sighed. "We are going to sit down and have a long talk, that is what you wanted right?" she asked.

"I.. I don't know." Severus hesitated.

"We are going to." Lily stated in a stern voice that indicated that she had decided and he had nothing to say about it. "I don't trust you in the least, and you have tons to account for, but obviously Albus thinks your trustworthy, god knows why, and I want to figure this out, so you Severus Snape, are going to sit down and tell me everything."

"okay." Severus mumbled.. and there was a bit of silence, him looking down, her looking sternly at him, slowly Severus looked up to see her stern eyes. "Now?" he asked.

"Is there any better time?" Lily asked. "Explain yourself!"

Severus took a deep breath, considering what to say next, he knew that he would have to be careful. "Well." He hesitated, and suddenly a pain shoot through him. "ARGH!" he grabbed his arms where the mark was placed.

Confused Lily looked at him. "What's happening?" she asked as Severus grumbled in pain.

"_He_ is calling me." Severus grunted bowing together. "And he sure as hell is angry."

"Then you must go to him." Albus said. "And remember this time around, there is a red haired woman who wants to hear your explanation, so don't be foolish."

"Like I would have survived a day of being a traitor if I were any kind of foolish." Severus sneered. "ARGH!" he bit together.

"Better be quick, or he'll get suspicious."

Severus nodded, and vanished in a loud crack.

And Lily's anger seemed to be sipping out of her.. "Is… is he really in life danger?" she asked.

"Yeas." Dumbledore nodded. "And there is nothing to do about it, if he tried to run, Voldemort would be able to track him down, or simply kill him through the mark, there is no running for a death eater once they have been marked."

"Why would he do something like this?" Lily asked. "Turning! You don't know how he was, he really did believe in Voldemorts philosophy, he was looking so much forward to become a death eater, he found their methods and goals glorious."

"That, is for Severus to answer, don't you think?" Dumbledore asked, Lily looked nervously back at him. And Dumbledore sighed. "Can I trust you not to say this to anyone, not even your husband."

"James would have a fitt if he figured I had talked to Sev and not turned him in to the Aurors." And Lily clasped her hands towards her mouth.. it had just slipped, she had called him Sev! She didn't mean to, he was death eater Snape now, and until further prove was presented he would remain that way.

Dumbledore looked seriously at her. "I mean it Lily, you can't say as much as a word or hint it to anyone! You know there is a traitor in the order, if that traitor gets the least suspicious towards Snape, the traitor will go to Voldemort, and then Severus is very much dead."

Lily gulped as she nodded her head looking down. "Oh the irony of it all, both sides having their own traitor in the inner circle." she rubbed her eyes looking very tired. "When will he be back?" she then asked.

"I don't know." Dumbledore looked sadly at her. "I can contact you once he is fitt to see you again if that is what you want."

Lily nodded her head. "Yeas please." She answered. And then turned around clinging her hands into fists behind her back as she bit her lip.. god Sev, what have you gotten yourself into now! Please just don't die on me now!


	2. Chapter 2

_Well yeah.. it just came to me, this story had more to tell, So I just needed to write this extra little adition._

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_As much as Severus hated to admit it, Dumbledore had been right, the reminder of Lily's statement that they were going to talk provided him extra strength, true enough Voldemort threw cruciato at him, and tried to probe his mind with legimisy, but suddenly the occlumency Severus had so far been struggling with , came a lot more easily, it came naturally as if it was an automatic defence mechanism, just as it was supposed to be.

And Severus made it, he didn't break under Voldemorts furry, he gave the death eaters no reason to believe they had been betrayed or even that he had other wishes than serving the dark lord, he made it through, also this time.

Now however came that time again Severus on some level hated the most, the downtime, the time where nothing happened, only leaving the anxiety, anticipation and sheer frustration, knowing that it was only a matter of time something horrible would happen again, only not knowing what or when. And this time his anxiety twice as great… Lily and he was going to talk.

He was waiting for her, silently in Dumbledores office, his hands clinged together resting in his lap, not even the Phoenix's soft tones did anything for his own anxiety.

Severus felt how his body was aching, it was due to Voldemorts rough treatment of him, and his own neglect, Severus probably hadn't taken to well care of himself lately, he had tried to make an effort for this occasion, washed up, putting on clean robes, but it didn't felt like it helped much, he felt just as sallov and greasy as before the efforts of cleaning up, despite having been rubbing his skin so hard and so long some parts of it was still an annoyed pink colour.

Finally the fire blushed up in a green colour, and Dumbledore stepped through, Lily following closely after, Severus looked down, only occasionally tightening his hands, he stole a glance at her… she looked very tired, there was circles under her eyes and her hair was in quite a mess. He looked down again.

"Severus." Dumbledore spoke.

Severus didn't answer, he just looked down.

Dumbledore sighed. "I think I will be leaving you two alone." He then said. "I will be in my library." He hinted at a door.

"Thank you." Lily responded, and Dumbledore walked towards his destination, and closed the door behind him, leaving Lily and Severus alone, and they were left to awkward silence, Severus not even daring to look at her, slowly Lily walked towards him, and then pulled a chair, sitting somewhere in front of him. "Well." Her voice cut through. "Are you ever going to look at me?" she asked.

Severus swallowed, and slowly did as he was told, raising his head to look at her.

"Hm." Lily made the sound. "You look like shit."

Severus nodded without even changing face expression.

"Have you lost your voice or what?" She asked. "I gotta tell you, I have no patients right now, I just spend three hours trying to make Harry sleep, so I am just exhausted."

Severus held back, his face still strangely blank.

"I asked you, have you lost your voice?" Lily asked. "Say something!"

"Sorry…" he mumbled.

Lily shook her head. "So I heard." And she sighed. "Well, if I must start.. Honestly, explain yourself Snape, why have you turned? Why should I believe your on our side?" she asked.

"I can't say that I am a unique case." Severus hesitated. "The dark lord gets people into his service by promising greatness, playing at peoples vanity and hopes of becoming individuals of importance and fortune.. but once you are in there.. You find out that that really isn't the case, all of the dark lords death eaters fear him more than anything else, and there are many who wished they had never joined.." he looked down. "It's only those who are insane who still wants to be a death eater after around one month in service, but then it's to late, it's either serving or dying."

"I see." Lily sighed. "So you want out because it isn't what you thought it was." There was disgust in her voice.

"Sort of." Severus looked down again.

Lily lifted an eyebrow. "There's more?" she asked.

Severus squirmed. "He wants to kill you." He mumbled in a extremely low voice.

"What?" Lily asked. "Sorry, I didn't heart that."

Severus swallowed and then looked up. "He wants to kill you." He said more clearly.

"And that's a surprise to you?" Lily asked. "Snape, I am a muggleborn, he wants to kill all muggleborns!"

Severus squirmed again. "But he is targeting you specifically because of.. of… "

"Yeas I know." Lily rolled her eyes. "But even if he didn't, I am still part of his main target. So you honestly shouldn't have been surprised, I am as you are so good at putting it, a mudblood, what will you do about it?"

Severus cringed together. "There's no such things as mudbloods." He at last stated silently. "The thing about pureblood being better it's.. it's hogwash."

Lily looked apprehensive at him. "You're doing it again." She said. "Telling me what I want to hear, you were might able to get away with it when we were fifteen, but not now Snape."

Severus looked down again, his eyes flicker from the carpet to her and back again. "I wont expect you to ever forgive me.." he said silently. "I betrayed you.. all I can say is that I'm sorry, I never wanted you hurt.. and I don't want you to die, I hate the dark lord, I want to see him go down, I will be dancing on his grave.. I am not a coward." he suddenly stated. "Many of the Dark lords death eaters wished they had never joined, but they are cowards, so they just keep on going along, play at The dark lords wishes in the hopes of getting in his favour, even desperate to do so, they are cowards, I am not.. And I think it's there the difference lays." He looked at her again, and sighed deeply. "You don't trust me." It was a flat defeated statement.

"I have no reason to." Lily returned. "I have no idea where your alliance is, who you are with, where is your loyalty? Do you even have any."

Severus sighed. "only one." He told her.

"One loyalty?" Lily asked with crossed arms and a lifted eyebrow. "To whom?"

Severus was totally silent, he looked at her holding back his breath. "You." He at last breathed.

Lily starred wide-eyed at him. "Me?" she asked confused in a disbelieving voice. "Why me?"

Severus shrugged. "Because you're you." He said the only answer that came to mind

"If that is so.." Lily hesitated. "I think you know what you have to do, keep up pretence, don't die on me. If you do, I would fell guilty about it, so don't you _dare_."

Severus looked oddly at her, feeling a weird sort of feeling in his chest by her light concern, it wasn't much, but it meant the world to Severus. He nodded.

And a sort of weird gleam came over Lily's eyes, a predators gleam who had found a way to get what she wanted. "he is after my son. I am pretty sure you know that." No, it wasn't a predators gleam, it was a mothers gleam, a mother with only one concern and willing to do anything to fulfil that concern, and any thing stopping her would have to pay. "If your loyalties really is to me, protect my son! He is my life." She suddenly resembled a commander as she stood up, standing over Severus looking both stern and demanding. "You have no idea how many nightmares I have about Voldemort killing my son, that's all that matters to me Severus Snape, so if your working for me, protect my son! And I'll reconsider your worth."

Severus could fell his whole body as he tensed, looking wide-eyed at her, sort of feeling like he did when Voldemort demanded a mission of him, only this time, Severus's loyalties truly were with his commander. "Yeas." He said. "I'll will do all that I can to protect your son." He said surely.

"And the rest of my family." Lily stated. "Every single one, my husband, Harry's godfather, our house friends which truly are our family, Harry comes first, but they are also in danger."

"Yeas, I'll protect them as good as I can." He stated. "But you and your son comes first."

"_No!_" Lily hammered down on him. "Not me! If the choice comes to be between me or my son, my son is the important one! He is from now on your first concern, not me."

Severus stifled, and then nodded. "I'll do as you wish." He clinched his hands so his knuckles turned completely white. "Harry Potter is my first concern, and I will protect him with all of my might."

"You better." Lily stated, before sitting down again, still looking commanding at him. "So that is my commands, don't be foolish, don't die and Merlin help you if something happens to my son."

Severus nodded.

Suddenly Lily stretched out an arm, her hand reached forward. "Vow it!" she demanded. "Vow it and you will have given me reason to trust you, if just a little."

Severus swallowed, and then reached ford a hand to firmly grasp hers, it felt warm and small in his hand, though her grip was firm and strong, almost squeezing his hand so it hurt. Lily brought out her wand and lightly tapped their locked hands so silver threats connected them.

"Do you, Severus Snape, vow your loyalties and alliance to me, Lily Evans Potter, to never turn again and never give in to the dark lord."

"I do." Severus said and meant it.

"Do you, vow to protect what I stand for, to be a champion for the light side."

"With all of my heart." Severus answered.

"And do you." Lily looked sternly at him. "Vow to protect my son, Harry Potter, at all cost."

"I do." Severus finished, and the silver strings merged into their hands, until Lily let go.

It looked like she had been inflated as she sank back in the chair, all the commanding energy leaving her, leaving a beyond exhausted shell. "Now there really is no turning back for you." She said it in an incredible tired voice. "You can't serve Voldemort and mean it."

"I don't want to." Severus stated. "You didn't need to vow me, because all those things you said, I was going to do them anyway, if you just asked."

"Oh Sev." She sadly shook her head. "What have the world come to around us? What have it done to us?"

Sev? She called him Sev! He had earned a string of trust from her.. He couldn't believe it.. yet her words, what had they come to? it was a legitimate question, and yet there was now answer.. Exhausted Severus sighed. "I don't know Lily." He answered honestly. "We are not kids any longer, we can't act like it."

"I know." Lily looked incredible sad. "Remember that time, before we went to Hogwarts, you figured how to levitate the water in the stream.. and play with it, so it looked like a show.. It was so pretty."

"As I recall you didn't think it was so pretty after I lost control and you got wet." Severus commented.

"I got my pay back." Lily shrugged.

"I remember, you pushed me in the stream." Severus shook his head.

"And then you levitated water right into my face." Lily responded in a dreaming tone looking out in the air clearly without seeing, a melancholic smile on her face. "And then we laughed, and as we got home we ate chocolate chip cookies while our clothes dried up."

"And drank your mothers home made lemonade." Severus continued. "Though it was to bitter, but we didn't point it out because we were in enough trouble as it was."

Lily looked at him with sad emerald green eyes. "How did we come from that, to this?" she asked.

Severus was silent, he couldn't answer that at all, and neither could Lily apparently, also she was seemingly still lost in thoughts.

"If it weren't for the war…" Severus hesitated. "Are you at least happy.. With everything?"

"Yeas." Lily told. "If it weren't for the war and all the misery, I love my husband, I love my child and I love my friends."

Severus looked down, she didn't need him in her life at all, not for anything else than being a last resort shield against Voldemort and his death-eaters.

"What would you have me say?" She asked. "I have moved on Sev, I'm sad for you and I hope you will find peace one day, but I couldn't spend all my life mourning your turn."

"I don't want you to." Severus said. "I want you to be happy, I'm glad that you're happy. Honestly I am."

Lily breathed deeply. And they sat in silence again, it seemed like both parts really had run out of things to say.

It seemed like forever until Dumbledore came back, Lily in a odd monotone courtesy addressed Dumbledore politely, and left through the fireplace, mumbling something about that Harry was probably awake again around now, and she shouldn't leave him hungry.. or James would mess the kitchen totally up..

"How do you fell?" Dumbledore at last asked Severus.

"I know what I am supposed to do now." Severus looked straightforward, without seeing the room.. "I fell.. clear minded."

"You should probably rest." Dumbledore commented.

"Yeas." Severus said in a weird distant voice. "Yeas, I must rest now… no knowing when I wont be able to, when he will call.. so I should." He stepped towards the fireplace, still that distant look in his eyes. "Protect them.. I must, protect them." He mumbled as he reached for the floo powder and threw it at the fireplace, before stepping through and landing in his own home, where he headed straight for the bed, to lay down on his back, looking up at the ceiling with wide-opened eyes, keeping mumbling to himself..

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Severus was cold, inside and looked even colder outside, he looked way beyond his young years as he stood upright, his wand resting in his hand, his hair blowing in front of his face as he stood in the darkness. "My lord!" he called out, to the dark lord voldemort who was on his way.

Voldemort turned his head, his red eyes seizing Severus, and he sneered. "Snape." he hissed. "What are you doing here, I believe I gave you a job."

Severus stepped out of the shadow as he raised his wand, looking coldly at Voldemort. "It ends tonight." he said. "I will no longer serve you."

Voldemort squinted his eyes. "Oh really." he asked. "You're not serious, do you really believe your anything." Voldemort snorted. "what a failure."

"You will not hurt Lily Evans Potter, or anyone that she loves!" Severus stated pointing his wand directly at Voldemort.

"I never took you for such a fool." Voldemort sneered. "We can't have that." he raised his own wand.

_"SECTRUMPSEMPRA!_" Severus roared flinging his wand.

Voldemort easily deflected it. "Your attacking me!" he angered. "Insolent brat! you will pay!"

Severus dropped his wand as he looked at Voldemort, his eyes and face strained, yet he didn't flinch, didn't movie, just looked at Voldemort with his cold black eyes.

'Jesus it's like he wants me to kill him' Voldemort thought as he raised his wand. "_Avada Kedavra!_" Voldemort threw the curse, hitting Severus right in the chest, for a moment he just stood there, and it created the illusion he would keep on standing, but then he fell down face first, and Voldemort sneered before passing on, as if nothing had happened at all, leaving the pathetic corpse where it was, on bare hill where it was unlikely anyone would come.

* * *

"Lily!" James potter yelled. "Take Harry! He's here! He's come to kill Harry! Take him an go!" he demanded bracing himself with his wand.

The door was blasted aside, and there he stood, Voldemort in all his power, squinting his eyes at James.

James held up his wand ready to fight, but it was all the quick. "_AVADA KEDAVRA!_" Voldemort hissed sending James violently through the air, so he crashed towards the wall and sank down.

Voldemort advanced to the stair case and blasted the door open which on the other side showed a woman standing in front of a baby crypt, shielding it with her body. "No!" she begged. "Not HARRY!" she begged. "Take me instead! I'll do anything! Spare him! HAVE MERCY!"

"_Avada Kedavra_!" the green light flashed once more, an a suddenly was send right back, Voldemorts eyes widened as the light came zooming right back to him, and hit him right in the face, a big crash sounded. Lily screamed as she covered her son with her body as the place fell apart, when she could see again she quickly picked up her son and looked wide-eyed around.. there was a corpse on the floor.. Voldemorts corpse.

"Lily!" a well known voice sounded from under the stairs. "_LILY!_"

"JAMES!" Lily cried out as she ran for the door, and ran down the stairs to accept his embrace while she cried in his arms, clutching her crying son.

"Lily what happened?" James asked.

"I don't know." Lily cried. "He tried to kill us! but the curse bounced off... I think... I think he's dead!" she exclaimed. "His corpse is up there!" and she cried again, burying her face into James.

"Shh Lily." he held her tight "Lets get out of here!" he exclaimed.

There sounded a sound outside, like a motorbike, and a voice called. "PRONGS! LILY!"

"Come on." James dragged Lily with him towards the missing wall, which seemed to be the shortest route to Sirius's voice. "PADS! HERE!" he yelled.

"JAMES!" Sirius came running towards them. "Thank Merlin your both alive!" he really seemed ready to drop dead of relief. "The.. the traitor.. It's Wormy!" he said horror filled. "Peter is the traitor!"

James nodded. "I know, but lets get out of here."

Sirius nodded. "Come on, if you sit behind me Lily should be able to carry Harry in the side wagon." he gestured at his still turned on motorbike.

Lily nodded, already on her way crawling up in the little wagon attached to the motorbike, though though it was made a little difficult as she also clutched her crying baby close. "Thanks."

* * *

Lily was still shell shocked beyond belief as she found herself in the current Order of the Phoenix headquarters, she was stunned into fright and the only thing that kept her going was her crying son, who clearly was able to sense her unease.

"I don't understand." She told Dumbledore. "Why aren't we dead! how can Voldemort be dead? what happened!"

Dumbledore looked sadly at her. "Funny thing about Avada Kedavra, a single little flaw Voldemort would never ever be able to grasp, because of the way his mind work." he stated. "If someone is willing to take Avada Kedavra for someone else, that other person is safe... you were protected."

"But who?" Lily asked. "Who could possible be mad enough to lay down his life for such a thin premise?" And her eyes widened. "Oh god please no." she begged.

Concerned James laid and arm around her. "What is it Lily... do you know who it could have been?"

"He took my place." she said in a weird dry voice. "James, it was Sev! I am sure of it!"

"Snape?" James asked bewildered. "but, he's a death-eater."

"A defected Death-eater." Dumbledore corrected. "And as I have not been able to contact him at all the last few weeks." he looked incredible old as he said it. "I had suspected he might had died."

"No!" Lily cradled her son. "It's my fault he did it!" she cried out. "I made him vow to protect Harry at all cost, but I honestly didn't think he would be this stupid!"

James looked very confused at her, but kept quiet.

"Don't blame yourself." Dumbledore pleaded of her. "It was his own choice, and it was a very honourable dead, he saved all of you, with that single action." Dumbledore looked seriously at her. "He defeated Voldemort himself."

"I didn't want him to die!" Lily cried. "I didn't mean it like that."

"Lily listen to Albus." James pleaded. "It was Snape's own choice. If what you say is true, and he did it so we cold life, so Harry could life, it was honourable, In his last moment, he was a great hero! It's what I will remember him for."

"Oh James." she cried. "And we are the only ones who are ever going to know." she cried so hard. "Who else is even going to care?"

"yeah." James nodded. "But we will be forever thankful, myself included."


End file.
